Settling In { Kurt }

[Kurt Wagner]

Kurt had been so excited by his idea he'd leapt on it without considering the risks or the consequences.  He could be a vigilante like Ava!  The two of them could help Mutants who were afraid and in need.  Then, maybe, eventually... somehow... he could convince her to help everyone, not just mutants.  With his teleporting abilities and her know how, they'd be unstoppable!

But even as his chest was swelling with excitement he saw the look of panic on her face as she scrambled for a reply.  She began to speak and Kurt bit his lip, listening quietly to her words.  Ava thought he should stay at the School?  She... didn't want him to go with her?  He felt his hope deflate inside him like a balloon.  She was telling him it wasn't safe for him, but all Kurt heard was, "you're not good enough."  She said she had secrets and Kurt only bowed his head, his eyes falling again to their hands.  He didn't care what her secrets were. She had saved his life!  What could she possibly tell him to change how he felt toward her?

Please, liebchen... I can't... I won't risk you getting hurt because of me.

Kurt thought about the X-men.  There was a good chance he'd get hurt if he stayed here too.  And probably an even greater chance of getting hurt if he went back home to Germany.  But who was he kidding?  He didn't have a home there.  He didn't have a home anywhere.

Yes, it hurt to be rejected... but Kurt told himself he was stupid for suggesting it and putting her on the spot like that.  Of course he would only hold her back.  Of course she didn't need him.  Kurt forced a smile and shook his head.  "It was a stupid idea.  Bitte verzeihen sie mir.  I got a little carried away."

Kurt didn't want her to regret coming to see him, so he tried to change the subject.  "Vere have your travels taken you since ve vere together last?"

[Raven Darkholme]

Something in that look he gave her said it all. You're abandoning him again. But no, no, this time she was doing right by him. Xavier would protect him. Here, he would be around people who would love him, take care of him. If he went with her, he would find out something about her. He could find out who she was, what she'd done, and then he would never want to be anywhere near her again. He would never trust anyone, knowing that his mother had disguised herself solely to be close to him for a few precious, stupid moments.

He was hurting now, but it would pass. This was the right choice. Letting him come with her, live her lifestyle, become something of a 'bad guy'... no, she couldn't accept that.

"Please, do not apologise... It was not a stupid idea, I wish I could take you with me." Oh, you have no idea how much I wish... "But you will be safe here, with Xavier, and the students. With me... I could never live with myself if anything else happened to you because of me. Here you will be safe and loved. This is what I want for you."

She shut her eyes for a long moment, barely hearing his question and by the time it processed, she almost felt as thought too much time had passed to answer it. But answer it she did, in a desperate attempt to keep talking to him.

"I spent much time in Austria. Looking for someone who very much does not wish to be found. He has powers like yours, liebchen, so he is very difficult to track... Then, I went to Spain, Italy... And now, back here, to see you." Kurt wasn't the sole reason for her return to the U.S., but at that moment in time, he certainly felt like it.