A Question of Faith - {Kurt}

[Remy LeBeau]

It had been a while since he'd been in a chapel, let alone since he'd gone to Mass. But there was something about his latest mission that had rubbed him the wrong way and sent him back into the arms of his faith. He tended to be pretty ... morally grey, for a boy who had been raised Catholic, but there were some things that just made him uncomfortable. Obviously, he didn't have an issue with stealing; he'd spent his whole life as a thief.

But to essentially take a child from its parents, a loving, nurturing home, to whisk them away to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters under what were, essentially, false pretenses? That left a poor taste in Remy's mouth. He hadn't had that, when he was little. He'd been abandoned as a baby, thanks to his unusual red eyes. His mother had thought that he was a child of the devil.

But then again, so had most of the Thieves' Guild. He was le diable blanc, the white devil, and he had been supposed to be the one to unite the Guilds. In the end, he'd only served to drive a rift further between the Assassins and the Thieves. He knew, though, if he had to do it again, he would make the same decision. Julien had been the one to attack him; he'd just done what he'd had to in order to survive.

Still, the whole thing had sat uneasily with the mutant, and he'd found himself in the little chapel in the mansion without even really thinking about it. There wasn't anything terribly special about it, but the moment he stepped foot inside the space, Remy felt a sense of calm, a sense of peace wash over his troubled mind.

He automatically moved to the small pool of holy water just off the entrance, dipped his fingers in it, and genuflected. No matter how lapsed he was, that was something he would always do upon entering a church. And once that was done, Remy moved on silent feet further into the chapel and took a seat in one of the pews.

Tag: Kurt Wagner

[Kurt Wagner]

The thing about Kurt's ability to teleport was he arrived with whatever momentum he left with. Kurt had been making a leap out of the tall Elm back behind the school when he vanished in a puff of blue smoke, which meant he was falling when he made his appearance in the chapel. One moment it was serene silence and the next-- BAMF!-- a blue demon was dropping from somewhere near the ceiling and landing at a crouch before the stained glass window.

He took a deep breath and stood up, crossing himself with his strange three-fingered hands. His tail whipped around behind him carelessly as he reached above his head to give a yawning stretch. His hair was a dark blue mess and he was wearing a sweatshirt he'd dug out of the lost and found. It was too big on him but he didn't care. The jeans, too, didn't fit that well, but it was hard to accomplish a good fit when you had a tail to consider.

Kurt spun on his toe, about to walk to his favorite pew when he caught sight of Remy. Kurt froze, his yellow eyes widening in surprise. "Bitte verzeih mir. ... I am sorry. I come here every day and I am always the only one."

The blue mutant gave Remy a sheepish smile, assuming that he had disrupted the man's time of contemplation. Kurt shifted his weight uneasily, not sure if he should stay or go. On one hand there was plenty of room for both of them... on the other Remy did not necessarily look like he wanted company. "I will go." Kurt gave a firm nod and started toward the door, opting to leave on his own two feet rather than leave Remy with another cloud of Brimstone to contend with.

[Remy LeBeau]

It wasn't often that Remy thought about his biological mother, anymore. After all, he'd never known the woman and he knew for a fact that she hadn't wanted him, that she'd been scared of him from the moment he'd been born. So why should he take time out of his day to think about someone when he was certain that she hadn't given him a second thought after she abandoned him?

Still, he found himself wondering who she'd been. And if his father had been a mutant. The X-gene was passed from father to child, after all. If his father had been a mutant, and if she'd known that, shouldn't she have been prepared to have a mutant son?

But in the long run, thinking about things like that didn't really make a difference; they were all "what-ifs" and Remy didn't have time for those.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he tried to calm himself, tried to keep from fidgeting. Remy was connected to the potential energy all around him, which made it hard to sit still.

Just as he was reaching a state of quiet contemplation, there was a soft BAMF and the scent of brimstone, and then, suddenly, he wasn't alone.

Remy glanced up at the new arrival, a little grin slipping onto his face. He might be called le diable blanc, but it appeared that this particular mutant fit at least part of that description a bit better than he did.

The blue mutant apologized in a heavily-accented German voice, and he said that he came here every day but he was always the only one. And after another moment, he said that he'd go.

The Cajun got to his feet, offering the other mutant a little smile. "You don' have ta go," he said, glancing around a little bit, "There's plentya room for both of us." The smile on his face turned sheepish as he added, "Haven' been in a chapel in a while; think I almost got lost on my way in." He was joking, but the first half of that statement was true; it had been a long time.

[Kurt Wagner]

Remy stood, though not to block Kurt's path.  It seemed more a gesture of courtesy than anything else.  Kurt stopped, looking up at the taller, red-eyed man.  Remy's smile was small, but sincere.  Kurt nodded again and sank down into the pew directly across the isle from the one Remy had been sitting in.  "Thank you."  Kurt shifted his weight so his heels were resting on the edge of the seat and he could loosely wrap his arms around his knees.

The younger mutant looked head for a moment, attempting to be still and quiet.  He stole a glance at Remy and fidgeted with the ties of his hoodie.  While it was true that Kurt had a time of solitude and contemplation and prayer every day, he was very much a people person.  For as long as he could remember he was always surrounded by people.  You don't get much alone time in a circus... which could perhaps also be said of Xavier's School for the Gifted.  Kurt had met Remy before, of course, but they didn't often cross paths like this, one on one.  Finding the Cajun here today, so unexpectedly, Kurt couldn't help but feel very curious.

He really did try very very hard to be quiet.  "Herr. LeBeau?"  Even though they were the only ones in the chapel, Kurt whispered.  "Might I ask... vat has brought you here today?"  It was a very personal question... Kurt knew this.  That said, he could see that something was troubling Remy.  He asked the question with quiet openness, willing to listen if Remy wanted to talk.  If not, he would respectfully go back to being quiet.

[Remy LeBeau]

When Kurt turned back and sank into a pew of his own, Remy took his seat again. He turned his gaze forward, taking in every detail in the stained-glass windows. They were fairly simple, but still, it was a nice touch. Reminded him of the cathedrals where he'd had Mass as a boy.

Even as he was gazing at the window, he was starting to fidget. He'd had trouble sitting still at Mass when he was younger, too, and he realized now, of course, that that had been because his mutant power was starting to awaken. He'd started to be able to connect to the potential energy, and that had made it very hard to sit still. Still did, though he could control it a lot more, these days.

Before too much longer, the younger mutant spoke up. Remy turned in his direction, his head tilted slightly, offering him an encouraging little smile. He might not be one of the professors at this school, but some of the younger mutants looked up to him. Why, he wasn't sure, but he enjoyed spending time with kids (even though Kurt was a kid) and tended to have a soft spot for the students.

Kurt hesitantly asked what had brought him to the chapel today, and it was clear from his tone that he wouldn't be offended if Remy didn't answer.

The Cajun let out a little sigh, running a hand through his hair. He turned himself a bit, so that he was facing Kurt more, and offered him another little smile.

"I was jus' thinkin'," he started, "What right do we really have ta take a kid away from a lovin' family, without really tellin' their family where they're goin'?" Sure, they tended to tell them that the child was going to an elite boarding school, which was the truth, but there was so much more to it than that.

Of course, some of the kids came from less-than-ideal environments, but that was entirely different. Those kids needed a home, needed a family, but the kids that had a family...., shouldn't they be able to choose whether or not the rest of them knew?

[Kurt Wagner]

At Remy's question Kurt quietly considered his response.  Kurt knew that there were a few students in the school whose parents still did not know they were mutants.  He knew that to some people-- most of them, actually-- this school was just that:  a school.  It was a disguise to protect the students and staff (and those who were neither, like himself) in this time of uncertainty.  It wasn't exactly safe to be a mutant these days.

It was difficult for Kurt to empathize with students who could hide what they were... simply because he himself could not.  It was obvious he was different.  His parents had made the choice to abandon him with a traveling circus.  Maybe, like the School, that was the only safe option for them at the time.  Kurt had never considered it that way before and he felt a familiar ache within him.  He would never know.

"I do not think ve have 'a right' to remove them from their homes... but I think the Professor has to make a choice to do what 'IS right' for the child at the time."  Kurt's tail curled and uncurled lazily, like a cat's.  "... And I trust the professor.  If the parents do not know the truth... perhaps it is a kindness."

Kurt was still speaking softly in the dim light of the church.  He looked back at the stained glass now.  "If I could choose to vait until I was sure I was safe vith someone before I told them I was a mutant... perhaps I would."  Maybe in those instances, the parents just weren't ready to hear that the gifts their child possessed were extraordinary.

[Remy LeBeau]

In Remy's experience, it had never been safe to be a mutant. Much like Kurt, he'd been abandoned at birth, the moment he'd opened his eyes. That was almost worse, he thought, than having someone know what he was the moment they saw him. It was true that he could put on a pair of sunglasses and essentially hide what he was, but the moment he let his guard down, everything changed. Kurt couldn't hide himself at all, but maybe that was the lesser of two evils.

Because at least people would be upfront about what they thought. With Remy, he could charm the socks off of people.....but when the realized he was a mutant, they invariably turned on him.

"And if the next child the Professor tries ta bring back ta the Mansion doesn' wan' ta come here?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the blue mutant. "Wha' then? Do we jus' take the child despite their wishes?" At this point, he was more playing Devil's advocate; children very rarely wanted what was best for themselves and Kurt was right about that part.

He offered Kurt a small smile when he said that he'd choose to hide if he could. Remy understood that, but at the same time....it would only be worse if he could.

"At leas' this way, people will be honest with how they feel," he murmured. "You wait till you feel safe with someone then tell 'em what you are an' they can turn on you." And that was much worse than having people simply avoid you.

Remy sat back in his pew, looking up at the stained glass window. "Sometimes, I wonder why we exist at all, if mos' people are only gonna hate us." Remy hadn't had much of a family for most of his life, and sometimes, he wondered what he'd done to deserve that. Most of the time, he presented a sort of carefree, cocky attitude to the rest of the world, but that was a front, to hide his complete and utter self-loathing. How could he live with himself, after some of the things he'd done? How could he expect anyone to want him around them? And so he hid most of that away from other people, letting them see what they wanted to see.

He was a thief, and most people would only ever see him that way, so why not live up to expectations?

((OOC: I feel like I got kind of rambly and off-topic towards the end there; let me know if this is all right!))

[Kurt Wagner]

Remy's question made Kurt look over at him.  Take a child that didn't want to come?  Kurt frowned.  "I think that vould be kidnapping, Herr Lebeau.  Has the professor ever done that before?"  Kurt frowned.  He was new, yes, but he had not heard of anyone coming to the school against their will.  Most kids seemed relieved to be with others like themselves.  That said, if it was happening, Kurt didn't know if he would want to be a part of it any more.  That didn't seem right to him at all.  Make a case for the school, warn them against the risks they may face otherwise, and move on.

Remy went on to argue that at least you were getting honesty if you could not hide what you were.  Kurt made a small grimace and hitched a shoulder.  "... Too much honesty is exhausting at times, my friend.  And perhaps if there is time for the other person to trust me as vell, there vill be less 'turning' when the truth comes out."

The Cajun became more philosophical in his questions and Kurt reached into his pocket and pulled out his rosary.  He ran his fingers over the worn beads and smiled softly.  "Ve are all here to love one another.  ... perhaps that is vy the world needs Mutants now more than ever."  Kurt looked over at Remy, a soft genuine smile on his blue lips.  "For vat it is vorth, mein freund, I am happy you are here."

[Remy LeBeau]

Remy shook his head at Kurt's words. That wasn't quite what he'd meant, but to be fair, he hadn't been particularly clear.

"No, the Professor's never done anythin' like that, so far as I know, but what I mean' was, if the parents wan' the child ta come, but de child don' wanna come, what then?" At this point, he wasn't really looking for answers; Kurt was right in that they had an obligation to do the best they could for the children. And even if they did have a loving family, learning how to control their powers could only be in their best interests.

"No, you're right; we need ta look out for those we can," Remy added, running a hand through his hair. Sometimes, it was hard, trying to figure out what the best interest was for a child.

A small, sad, lopsided smile slipped onto Remy's lips when Kurt said that maybe if people were given the opportunity to trust him, too, before he told them he was a mutant, that there would be less 'turning,' when it came down to it.

"In my experience, mon ami, dat's not quite how it works," he murmured, reaching into his coat pocket. He still had a few cigarettes left and he desperately wanted one, but he wasn't about to light up in a church.

He couldn't help but laugh at Kurt's words, shaking his head. "Well, mon ami, I think you migh' be de only one." A couple of the others might be glad he was around, but if that was the case, it was probably only because he made their jobs easier. And one of the few people he did want to care....didn't really pay much attention to him at all.

[Kurt Wagner]

Remy's words put Kurt at ease and he sank back against the pew.  He really respected the Professor and would have been deeply shocked to learn that such things were happening here.  "Then I think its up to the family, but... I cannot say that I know for sure." Kurt had been raised not by a designated set of parents, but by a troupe of performers in a circus. It was not a normal family, by any means, and he could not say that any of them would protest to him leaving. In the end, he had been stolen from them anyway.

Movement across the isle drew Kurt's eye and he watched Remy fish a carton of cigarettes from his coat.  "Maybe not."  Kurt looked ahead again, resting his chin on his folded arms.  "It doesn't matter anyway; neither of us can be anything but vhat ve are."

At last comment, Kurt smiled, but kept his eyes ahead.  "Not so.  This place... It could turn us all into a family.  If ve let it."  Kurt saw it happening all around.  They were all outcasts, all misunderstood in their own way... but lasting friendships were being made here.  "I think that is vhy I am still here.  ... I'm too old to be a student... too unqualified to teach.  I try to help the X-Men, but there are much better fighters, like yourself.  But... I like the people here."

[Remy LeBeau]

The Cajun glanced down at the little box in his hands, listening as Kurt spoke. No, none of them could help but be what they were, even if that made them outcasts as far as so-called "regular" people were concerned, even if that made them "freaks." But sometimes, it did make things damn hard to deal with.

He let out a little sigh, putting the cigarettes back into his coat pocket. One thing was for sure, he was going to have a smoke soon as he left this place. But he wasn't quite ready to leave, not yet. It had been a while since he'd felt such a sense of peace, even with the topic that he and Kurt were discussing.

Remy glanced over at the blue mutant, one eyebrow raised as Kurt talked about the X-Men, about how this place could turn everyone into a family. He let out a bitter little laugh, shaking his head.

"Dat's where you're wrong, mon ami," Remy said, and there was a touch of the bitterness in his voice, too. "The only reason I'm allowed ta be part of the X-Men is because I'm useful to dem."

He sat forward a little bit, running a hand through his hair, letting out a little sigh before he spoke once more. "The X-Men are heroes. Me? I'm jus' a thief." None of them saw him as anything more; they certainly hadn't fully accepted him into their merry little band. He doubted that they trusted him as far as they could throw him. And considering some of their members, they could probably throw him pretty far.

[Kurt Wagner]

Kurt watched Remy cast one more longing look at his cigarettes before putting them back.  When Remy looked over, Kurt met his gaze, only to frown at Remy's bitter laugh.  Kurt gave a sad smile.  "I said it could make us a family... not that we already are."  Kurt looked ahead.  "The X-Men are just part of vhat is happening here, I think."  Kurt gave a shrug and a grin.  "Time will tell."

Remy was clearly uncomfortable and in need of a nicotine fix.  Kurt looked over at him for a moment, listening to his aggravated sigh and the sad bitterness in his voice.  Kurt didn't know much about Remy's past, but he could see clearly that he was often alone, without any real place to belong.  Suddenly having a place didn't seem to sit well with him.  "... If you are no hero... and the X-men are only using you as you say... then vy do you stay here, Herr Lebeau?"  Kurt asked from a spirit of innocent curiosity and was not at all condescending.  He honestly wanted to know.

... because as much as Remy wanted to believe he was in this chapel because of the hypothetical treatment of future students, Kurt knew it was something else.  Men did not seek out the silence of a holy place to wrestle with ethics.... they went because their soul was seeking something.  Kurt didn't expect to ever know what had brought Remy there that day because Remy seemed to be a fairly private person, but if Remy needed a confessor, Kurt would listen.

[Remy LeBeau]

There were times when it was hard for Remy to sit still. He was connected to all the potential energy around him, and sometimes, that made him fidgety. It was almost as though he had extra energy that he needed to burn through, and one of the ways to do that was to charge something. Which would, of course, make whatever it was he'd charged blow up, which was why he tended not to do that very often, unless there was no one around or he actually had a reason to make something explode.

And right now was definitely one of those times. He inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, forcing himself to slow down, to be still. And it .... mostly worked. It worked enough that he could listen to Kurt without feeling the need to run outside and charge a few cards just to siphon off his own excess energy.

He didn't respond to the other mutant's words about family; he didn't really have a family, never really had. There was the Guild, but that ... was different. He supposed that Kurt was right, that it was possible, but..., well, it would take time, if it happened at all.

Remy shrugged a shoulder. "It's more like were usin' each other," he commented. He hadn't put that well; the X-Men....weren't just using him. They were trying to make him part of something. But it had been a while since he'd been part of anything other than the Theives Guild; he was still figuring out how to do that.

But when Kurt asked him why he stayed, it gave the Cajun pause. A lopsided little smile slipped onto his face, and he glanced over at the blue mutant once more. "I don' exactly have anywhere else ta go," he admitted in a murmur. "Besides," Remy added, his expression turning into his usual mischievous smirk, "someone's gotta keep Scott in line."

And there was Rogue...., whatever they had (or didn't have, really) was something he wanted to explore. He ... didn't want to leave. And that was the real reason he stayed; if he'd wanted to, he could have been gone a hundred times over by now. But this place, strange as it was and questionable as some things might be....was starting to grow on him.

[Kurt Wagner]

Kurt nodded, listening as Remy spoke.  Like Remy, Kurt also had no other option.  He had no other family and no means to support himself in the outside world.  Looking like he did, there were few options.  ... That, and he didn't want to end up in a place like that fighting ring ever again.  Here there were people who were kind to him.  Here it was safe.  "Home is where the heart is."  Kurt said this like they were magic words and flourished his hand.  "I read that once.  It vas embroidered and framed on a vall of a place that vas... very not-home-like.  But for us I think it rings true."

Remy smirked, his sense of humor shining through, and made a comment about Scott.  Kurt raised his blue eyebrows and flashed a grin.  "Good luck with that one, my friend."  He saluted Remy.

Kurt was glad they'd bumped into one another like this.  Remy usually kept to himself and Kurt was happy he had opened up to him, even a little bit.  Still, he could see that Remy was fidgeting and perhaps would have left by now, if not for Kurt keeping the conversation going.  Kurt didn't have a chance to say anything about it, for at that moment his stomach chose to give a very loud and pitiful growl.  Kurt covered his mouth with his hand, even though that had nothing to do with it, and looked over at Remy.

"Entschuldigung."  He gave a sheepish smile.  "I havent had lunch yet.  Want to come?"  Kurt got to his feet and stretched.

[Remy LeBeau]

With a subject like this, there was always more to be said, always more to be argued. But in this case, it appeared that he and Kurt were on the same page, relatively speaking. Though when Kurt said home is where the heart is, Remy laughed again, pulling out one of his ever-present decks of cards.

"Den I suppose my home is wherever my cards are," he quipped, raising an eyebrow at the other mutant before tucking his cards back into his pocket. He was only mostly joking about that; for much of his adult life, Remy had been something of a wanderer. He'd been raised in New Orleans, but Jean Luc was not his father, the Thieves Guild were not his family. He had been excommunicated and banished, so no, he hadn't had a home for quite some time.

But perhaps...., just perhaps, that could change. The others were a good sort, for the most part. They treated each other well, and most of them genuinely seemed to care for the others. And that was, perhaps, what made Remy wary of staying. If he got used to it, if he allowed himself to get too comfortable, to start to call this place "home.....," it could only turn out poorly. Such was his luck.

But he'd cross that bridge when he came to it, if he ever did. For now, Kurt was asking him another question.

Remy let out a little laugh, standing himself. "Truth be told, I haven' had lunch yet either," he admitted with a grin. "Let's go. Us Catholics gotta stick together," Remy said, and this was something he did mean. They shared a faith, which meant that they should be able to confide in one another. Kurt had been more of an acquaintance before today, but perhaps now he could be considered a friend.